My Sunshine is Gone

The sunlight faded into such a beautiful sunset. As I feared it would. As I had this feeling in the back of my mind that this joy and happiness I was feeling wasn’t something meant for me. I write about pain. I don’t write about happiness. 

This seems to be my cross to bear in my life. So I danced like hell in the sunshine. I tasted it and it was the best feeling in the entire planet. He was the best thing in the entire planet. He took up all the stars in my sky. And the sunshine faded and I am once again left standing alone. 

How do you recover from losing your soulmate? I honestly am asking. I feel like I am nothing. Like my life had finally locked into place. Every hardship I endured, every obstacle I faced, every heartbreak I suffered through. I lay in his arms and felt such peace…that it all led me to him. He would be the father of my children. I would love his children like they were my own. He was mine and I was his. When you feel that in your soul…..how do you even fathom a life outside of that. 

My sunlight faded. The sunset..one last one was breathtaking. And now I don’t have breath. 

I am bleeding out and I am not even sure I want to staunch the wound. What’s the point? 

I lost my sunshine. And once you have had pure sun, nothing else will fill my heart like that. 

So I sit here in bed, reflecting on how I woke up feeling like my life finally was falling into place as it should. I am going to go to bed tonight not caring if I wake up tomorrow. My sunshine is gone.