Airports

What is it about airports that bring such excitement for me? Does anyone else feel like that? Seeing everyone coming and going; I always wonder what everyone’s stories are. Are you working and this is just a daily or weekly chore? Are you going on the biggest vacation of your life and you are nonchalantly (or not) holding in your excitement? Are you visiting family for happy memories to be made? Are you visiting family to share in sorrow? 

I can’t help but people watch and build stories as people pass: 

The Asian couple that is sitting together side by side at the table across from me. Each watching something different on different tablets while sitting together. Their hands clasped together under the table. I envision them to be recently retired; having worked hard their whole lives. This is their first trip together. The destination doesn’t need to be far or extravagant. It just is a change to their routine and habits and a long overdue celebration of a lifetime of worrying about obligations. Their hands clasped in a shared journey of life. 

The two women that walked up to my terminal, standing against the side with their multiple bags. One wearing a white cowboy hat with a white veil flowing behind her, the other one wearing a black cowboy hat with a black veil flowing behind her. I envisioned the travel home from a bachelorette party; the two sisters traveling back together while the rest of the group takes their own trips home. Both trying to soak in the last few hours of a celebratory trip before returning to the rest of the planning, prepping, stress of the upcoming wedding. 

When I found my seat on the plane as I was coming home from my own trip, I was sitting next to a couple. I sat next  to them both in our 3 seat row. I got more of an inside view. Two people having traveled 10 hours prior to this last leg of their trip and kids waiting at home for them. I got a closer glimpse; their food preferences (they were both craving a chicken pot pie), their next trip ideas (California - specifically San Diego), the places they have no need to ever go to (Mexico - the all inclusive thing just doesn’t do it for them). 

At first, I was surprised by my emotions. I was annoyed as I sat there trying to read as they were conversing. I wished I would have sat next to two strangers so we all could be left to the silence of strangers doing their own things. I was trying to get into a new book, but their conversation; their dinner plans; their life plans kept distracting me away from the words on the page. I kept trying to tune them out. I kept failing at it and my irritation grew. 

I leaned in though. I started questioning my emotional response. I love airports. I feel giddy on airplanes. Here I was feeling annoyed. I didn’t want to feel that. I wanted to understand it. 

I used to be in relationships like that. Where I was a part of the couple that sat together and talked the entire plane ride about plans, daily tasks, hopes and dreams. I was that person. I was in that relationship. There is ease that comes with that; being partnered; going through life with someone else; planning together. 

Now, I am the woman that is traveling alone next to the couple planning their lives. I am coming home to my routine, to my friends, to my family, to my pups but I am not coming home to a significant other and the comfort that that can bring. However, in forcing myself to face my feelings and ask why, I realized that I didn’t mind that much. That at this exact point in my life, that isn’t something that is a part of my life. It doesn’t mean I won’t have that one day. 

Just by forcing the reframe in my mind; facing my wandering thoughts, it changed my mood and outlook. This was a couple coming home from a vacation together without their kids. They were starting to revert back from vacation mode to home and parent mode. They were finding such comfort in each other, she leaning into him; him rubbing her back. It actually was such a beautiful thing. And here I was, smiling insteading being so overly annoyed that I kept rereading the same sentence. How the power of a mental shift can bring such different thoughts and emotions. 

I want that one day. I still feel positive that I will be there again. With the right person. At the right time. 

We all come with stories. We are all headed in different directions and getting on different planes to different destinations. We all have different phases of life we are currently living. What is current, will not be the phase you are in forever. So maybe, the plane you are currently on…maybe if you look closely enough, it can be its own lovely chapter and you don’t have to look over to the annoyance of what it looks like for others to be on a different plane. 

It’s actually kinda beautiful isn’t it….?