My Bags are Packed

What in the hell am I doing? Driving to Arizona. Staying in an AirBnB for 3 weeks. Working while I am there. Spending the holiday there. 

Can we stand up on top of the table and screen to the sky above that this is so outside of my norm and my comfort zone. This scares me. A lot. 

I have never traveled such a distance alone before. 

I have never worked remotely like this before. 

I have never taken this chance for myself and myself alone before. 

This is a lot of new. And new scares me. Change scares me. 

But I did this thing. I set it up. I knew I would be scared and did it anyway. Isn’t this what I vowed this year would be about? I hit “book” with my hand over my eyes. This is all part of the leap here. I am doing the thing. It’s what I felt was the best way to dive into the new year. How to start anew. 

We are here. I leave tomorrow. This has become real. Like this blog. Another thing I am just throwing my hands up and doing. And maybe just continuing to lean in, to do things scared, to just get in the damn car and go is how I do take back my life and my year and years ahead. 

But all of the thoughts are there…the internal ones that you don’t necessarily let out to the outside world. 

• I'm scared to go

• I'm scared to stay

• I'm scared to heal - it means letting go

• I'm scared not to heal 

• Im scared I will get there and it won’t be what I hope it is

• I'm scared to get there and have it be everything I hoped it would be

My car is packed. I am going even if all of those fears are sitting heavy on my chest. 

Here I go. Here we go. Come with me.